Internship

Hi everyone... It's been more than a mth since I last updated my blog. Really hope that everyone is doing well so far. Well.. as for me... I must admit that I am quite disappointed all these while. Or perhaps, will be disappointed for the next 5 months or so. That is also the reason why I never update my blog all these while.

The story is rather complicated and at times, I think that I really deserve this in the end.

At the very early stage, I was more prone to overseas attachment. However, on the day of briefing about the overseas attachment, I realised that there were not many companies that I could go if I were to work overseas. Thus, I kind of decided to work locally. Besides that, for certain reasons, I decided to change my internship till the last semester which will be from August 2009 till early next year. I was given the green light.

However, after a revision lecture one day, those of my friends who were starting their internship from early March 2009 must attend a briefing about internship. I had nothing much to do and so, I joined them to the briefing. After attending the briefing and much thoughts and chats with my friends and family, I decided to change my internship period back to early March 2009 as well.

Initially, everything is still looking favourable for me as I was then posted to a rather reputable company for my internship. I was very happy and looking forward to the start of my internship. However, around 4 days before the start of my internship, I receive a call from Mrs Chiu saying that apparently, the company I'm posted to want to cut down on the number of interns due to the rather bad economy. So, i was posted to a rather small company. Upon knowing that, I was feeling really down and .... disappointed. I could not describe how disappointed I am. My so called plan in my mind is kind of ruined.

From then on till now, I never feel happy on what Im currently doing. Every single day since 2 March, which is the day we started our internship, or even before that, I constantlyasked myself why am I so unlucky and why is my life like that? I really really regret about my initial plan. I was confused. I don't know if my internship will be better if I never change my period of internship. Every single day, I will think about it. I am unhappy. I felt unfair.

However, I constantly remind myself that it was no body's fault. I must not blame anyone for it and must constantly be positive about it. Having said that, I do feel weak certain times and the feeling of regret will come back haunting me again. At times, my friends and I will gather together and share about stuffs at work. Initially, I will complain to them and mock at my company. But recently, I will tell myself that there is no use talking about it. At times, they will share with me how nice is their company/pantry/scenery etc etc. I will feel jealous, I envy them, I feel sad, I will remain silent.

Few weeks after my Internship, I tried to talk with my teacher-in-charge. I try to talk to Mrs Chiu about changing a company. I know I am very troubleseem. But, I am just doing all my best to ensure that I live with no regrets anymore. Even though in the end might be the same, I will stll give it a try. In the end, I failed.

On top of that, when comes to forming a group, I thought that I am able to form group with my close friend. Unfortunately, I seem to have rotten luck this 2009. After much discussion and after there was a 90% confirmation that I can form group with my close friend, I was told that NO. I must form group with only students under the same teacher-in-charge. Yet another disappointment.

For now, I seriously do not hope much. This is because that I am constantly scared of the negative outcome. I do not know what to do. 5 months is really long for me especially when you are doing something that you do not quite like. I shall now take a step at a time.

I will try to remain positively about it.

Happy Easter Day.

Thank you.